#20 - Create Space for Change
There is so much power to transform your life by transforming the space you live in, and creating space for change in your life.
I have experienced it so often that when I clear things out, not only do I feel so much better, but I notice big changes happen in my life as a result .
So whenever I feel like big change is brewing in my life, but I don't exactly know what it looks like and what's about to happen, I get busy clearing things in my home. I consider it clearing things out of my past in order to make room for what's about to come in.
In this episode, I share some of the dramatic ways change has happened in my life and career after big clearings.
So whenever you stand at your own crossroads, consider, what do you need to let go of to move forwards?
I also share my top tips to tackle things in your own home and life so you can experience the impact of creating space for change.
It's not just decluttering, but also organising, completing and clearing things at home and work. Get to those projects and jobs you've been meaning to do and either get them done or delegate them to cross them off your list.
Then pay attention to what flows in as a result.
What we cover in this episode:
00:29 The Importance of Decluttering
03:05 The Power of Transforming Your Space
03:37 The Sentimental Value of Belongings
04:20 The Contradiction of Being a Sentimental Minimalist
05:05 The Impact of Clearing Things Out
05:30 Significant Life Changes and Decluttering
06:28 The Process of Letting Go
07:07 The Power of Creating Space for Change
10:51 The Journey of Shedding the Old
12:23 The Importance of Letting Go
14:27 Tips for Decluttering
21:29 The Link Between Decluttering and Life Changes
Great reading to support you:
'The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up' by Marie Kondo
‘Goodbye, Things’ by Fumio Sasaki
Listen to episode now:
Listen above or via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music.
This episode also aired on JOY 94.9 Thursday 28 December as part of its summer program.
Transcript
Episode 20- Create Space for Change
Hey, Hey, before we launch into this episode, I thought I would put a bit of a trigger warning on it. It occurred to me during editing that I am in a very privileged position, living on a hill in a flood zone. That many thousands of people around me, and beyond, have experienced enormous trauma because of floods. And so we will be talking about decluttering and belongings in homes and the process of sifting through and passing the ones on that you no longer need in order to create space in your life. And it occurred to me that that might be triggering for people who've been on the front face of the trauma of flood impact this year and previously. And, not withstanding the enormous privilege I have as a white woman in Australia who has so many belongings.
Also, I thought to clarify one point I talk about letting go of a large amount of my belongings and replacing them. And because I care deeply about our beautiful planet, like you do, I wanted to clarify that everything that was replaced in my home, came secondhand. Facebook marketplace is one of the main reasons I'm still on Facebook.
One of my key values is to always buy secondhand wherever possible okay so now to dive into this episode to help support you to create space in your life for the change that you want...
/Hey, Hey, welcome to the Find your Calling podcast. I'm Mandie Kai, and I'm so happy that you are joining me for today's episode. So I am a woman on a mission right now. Now it's not the mission that I'm here to do and fulfill with this podcast, activating and empowering you beautiful people to find the work that your soul is calling you to do, so that you love what you do and, are creating a better world with me.
It is my mission right now to declutter the f*ck out of my house.
Whenever I feel like big change is brewing in my life, but I don't exactly know what it looks like and what's about to happen, I get super busy clearing things in my home. Like clearing things out of my past in order to make room for what's about to come in. And this is a practice that I have done now for many years. And I thought that I would share it with you. Seeing as that's what I'm deep in doing right now.
I believe there is so much power to transform our lives by transforming the space we live in, and creating space for change in our lives. I have experienced that so often that when I clear things out, I feel so much better. I feel lighter. I have more energy. I just feel good about the space that I'm living in. And then I notice what happens as a result of that in my life.
I am a sentimental person. I keep a lot of things for sentimental value. And I think that started when my dad died when I was 16. And he had already separated from my mum. And so he had a whole place of his own, which I inherited. And I clung to so many of the belongings of his for a very long time, because I could feel like if I had his belongings around me, then there was a part of him that was still with me. So it took me like a good 10 years, really to let go of things. So, I guess that's where it started.
I love hanging on to things that mean something to me. But I've also become a minimalist. So these two things are quite contrary to one another. And I have this growing value of mine to live more simply and to really love the things that I have around me. I value beauty. I love being surrounded by beautiful things. Which is totally contrary to my beautiful partner Hana's style. We love absolutely totally different things, which is quite hilarious when we started to live together.
But she is also a minimalist. So we do share that value where it's like, we don't really want to live in a cluttered home. We want to be able to have the things that mean things to us. And because I know the impact of clearing things, and then watching things change in my life, this has become a almost continual process for me.
Profound changes I’ve seen after decluttering
So some of the examples that I recall were pretty significant in my time where I've done big, lots of clearing out and then big shit has happened in my life. So the summer of 2016, I came back from Bali. I'd been in a Bali for a month. And I always find myself having deep transformation and experiences when I'm in the beautiful mama Bali.
And I'd come home and I felt a big impulse to clear my shit. And I went home for the holidays and I piled my car full of boxes and papers to sort through. I'm sure I wasn't that great company cause literally I spent the summer in front of the fan because I'm in Australia, so Christmas holidays is spent sweltering.
So I was sitting in the lounge room, just sifting through all of these boxes of papers and photos and notebooks. And it was like a trip down memory lane. And I was making decisions like about, okay, what am I going to keep? What am I going to let go of? And I was really ruthless back then.
My greatest success of that time, which was a big deal was letting go of my wedding album. I had carried that around with me for 15 years since we separated. I like this wedding album was so beautiful. The photos and the memories I have of that day are, exquisite.
And I guess I was just trying to capture that by keeping a hold of it. And then I eventually was like, this is ridiculous. It's so fucking heavy. And it's so big and it's so in the past, So I scanned in just a few of my favorite photos. And then got rid of the whole album. I knew that I was consciously creating space for the things that I wanted to call into my life that year.
I was deep into my work with Soul Strategies. I had already done the, find your calling course in Byron Bay for the first time. And I felt like a woman on a mission with my business back then. But unbeknownst to me, my life was going to change completely in 2017. That was after my life-changing experience of helping to lead the volunteer flood cleanup in Lismore, which happened in April, 2017. So that was only a few months later. And then serendipity led to my role as the senior cast coordinator in the Commonwealth games, opening and closing ceremonies, and then on to working in a disability dance company.
You know, it was a major shift. And if you haven't heard the story yet, then episode two of the podcast, which is part two of my backstory gives you the details of this completely wild, unplanned, un predictable, incredible five years that I had. And yet I look back and I go, yeah, I came back so clear that things were going to change. And, I didn't know what they all were.
I thought that was going to be leaving my role as a career coach in the university, and then working full-time in my business. But yeah, my soul had totally other plans.
Finding love again after decluttering (for real!)
Another time where I really was super focused on the changes I wanted to make around the house was in late 2019.
My beautiful love and I had broken up . Which was really sad. And there was something about that time that I went I need major change. And I felt the big impulse to clear the majority of the furniture that I had kept once again for almost 20 years.
I had kept this furniture that I bought with my husband. And I do recall a fung shei expert telling me many years prior to that, actually, when I was in Bali. Ahh saying to me, If you really want to call in new love, you're going to have to let go of the stuff that you have from that marriage.
At the time I wasn't ready to do it because I f*cking loved all that furniture so much. But it was like a time warp. It was like, I would always pack it up. I put it in storage and then I'd unpack it again when I come back from overseas and it was just like this little time warp that kept following me all throughout my life.
Eventually I got to the point where I was “that's enough. I've got to let it go”. So I did, and I changed everything except for two major pieces of furniture, but everything else went. And there was so much fresh energy in my home. And I believe that that helped recreate, or that helped me shift my energy to the point that Hana and I reconnected and we've been together happily ever since.
But then 2020 ushered in a huge wave of new experiences. Hana and I ended up living in Bali and the UK together when COVID hit. And yeah, there was huge amounts of change that proceeded that very intentional time that I took to clear things out.
Current phase of letting go of more
I find myself in another phase like that when I came back from overseas. We got back in December, back to this house in near Byron Bay.
I have been letting stuff go more and more, just a deeper and deeper journey of shedding the old and making room for the new. And, it's a bit of a slow process now because I'm getting to the really sentimental stuff I've been scanning in 13 years worth of journals, which is laborious, but I'm almost done. I think I'm down to like the last one or two. So close!
Looking at photos and I was doing school magazines on the weekend, you know, like this stuff that I was just holding so close, but now I'm like, you know what? Scan it. Or let it go or scan it and put it on the cloud, so it's stored.
I even have a Google photo drive it's called Mandie's Museum of Stuff. So things that I felt like I needed to keep physically, because it meant something to me I've taken a photo of and let it go physically. And then I've still got the photo of it. Like that has included things like my baby things. I had my teddy bear from when I was a baby. I had my baby's blanket 'cause none of that shit's at my mums. She handed that over to me decades ago going, that's your stuff, if you want it, you've got to keep it. So that is one of my tips that if you find yourself clinging to stuff that feels important, just take a photo of it. You can look at the photo anytime you want. It's the same. It really is. You don't need to actually hold on to it physically.
When you are at a crossroads ready for change
I love the quote by a woman called Louise Smith that says “you can't reach for anything new, if your hands are still full of yesterday's junk”.
Whenever you stand at a crossroads in your life, including in your career, what do you need to let go of to move forwards? That's the question you need to be asking yourself because it all relates.
You can't untangle your work and career choices, particularly when you're starting to ask the really important question of what is my soul calling me towards? Because that is such a deep question to be asking yourself, and you can't unravel that from the rest of your life and what you do and how you live in your home will affect everything, including your career.
So, if you're at a point where you're like, I know that change is needed in my life. I know that my soul is calling me toward something. I don't know what it is. But I don't know what to do, then start decluttering and making space in your life. Then watch what happens as a result. So it could be decluttering things around your home, but it could also be decluttering and organising things at work, like if you have an office, start there as well.
But it could also be things like organising things that you've been meaning to organise, like doing your taxes or sorting out your superannuation. And, I admit I've still got one superannuation account that I need to organise. If you can fathom it, it's still in my married name. Oh, my God, I left my husband almost 20 years ago and I still have one super account. So that's definitely on my list.
But just start and then notice the energetic shift that you enjoy as a result of tackling these things.
My top tips to help you create space for change
So these are my top tips. What has helped me is:
1. Make a list of all the stuff that you need to do. Because just that process of getting it out of your head and onto paper frees up some of your mental energy.
I have a running Google document with all the things that I need to either declutter or organise around the home, or organise as far as life administration goes, it just goes all on that list so that I don't need to be constantly worrying about it, of like, oh shit, what have I got to do? It's like, I've got it on the list.
And I can always refer to that list to go, okay, what do I want to tackle today? Or what can I tackle this week? And include all the things that are taking up physical and mental space and energy in your life. So that could be all of the things that you need to declutter in your home. Like your clothes, like definitely clothes that no longer fit or spark joy, hand them over.
I don't know how many times I held onto clothes because I was always going to be losing weight and it's just torture. Just let them fucking go. , but yeah, those other things around, catching up on any paperwork and filing and also your car, like that's such a representation or mirror. It's such a... it's such a mess. Oh, what's the word. I don't know, metaphor for how you move through life. Clean, clean it up. Organise it, make sure it's got petrol in it.
2. Set a timer for 15 minutes a day
I know it can feel overwhelming when you've got lots of stuff to work through and you may not know where to start. And so of course the brain's solution to that is just don't start. It's too hard.
Procrastination and putting off important tasks really keeps you stuck. Not only as far as these things, but in life in general. So action helps create momentum and doing this process will start to clear energy and space in your life, and it will result in things changing. I promise you.
You'll get greater clarity or there'll be a new opportunity that comes in, or a person that you connect with that then connects you to a new opportunity or something that your soul is calling you towards.
So set a timer, 15 minutes a day. You'll be surprised by how much you can do in 15 minutes.
Hana and I have just started the process this week, where every morning for 15 minutes, we clean the house. And I know it's only day two, so it's very early on in the process, but I am loving it. Oh, my God. It's amazing how much we can get done. And knowing that I'm going to do another lot tomorrow means that we are tackling already like little corners of the house that never see the light of a duster or the vacuum.
So just start to spend a little bit of time each day. And if 15 minutes feels too much, start with five minutes. And look for something to let go of or declutter or pass on to the charity shop. I'm imagining that if you're listening to the podcast and connected to my work, we share the same value around avoiding landfill. So I do spend a lot of time researching my local council's website for information about where to put things as far as can something be recycled or is there another place that I can pass it on to. We've found a dentist who will take old tooth brush heads from electric toothbrushes so that we can clear that. Anyway, that's just a bit of a side note, but yeah. Spend the time to actually look where you can take things or how you can recycle things or where you can pass them on to with charity shops rather than just filling up landfill.
Also start where it's easiest. Don't make it hard for yourself to start where it's easiest because that momentum will help. It will be get more momentum and motivation to do it because you're going to feel so good.
If you do need a system to help tackle things, I recommend Marie Kondo's the life-changing magic of tidying up. She very clearly says, start decluttering your clothes because it's easiest. And then she says leave you sentimental stuff to last because that's going to be the hardest thing to let go of.
I do find that her process does take a lot longer than 15 minutes. Cause she's like, get all of your clothes out and put them all on a bed. Which yeah, can make a lot of mess. But, you know, there's method in, in her madness. What's not madness at all. There's a really great method. There. Have a read of it. If you're interested.
Another book that I found super motivating was by a Japanese minimalist called…now I'm probably going to embarrass myself with my pronunciation, but Fumio Sasiki. And it's called Goodbye, Things. And he gives very clear instructions of how to minimise and clear things. And I don't have the desire to be as minimalist as he is because he literally has a mattress that he sleeps on in the bedroom and rolls it up at night and puts it back into the cupboard. And has very minimal, belongings, but his methods and sharing of his experience, going through the process of letting go of things was really inspiring to me.
3. Do whatever it takes to motivate you.
For me taking before and after pictures has always been a huge motivator. You might like to share the journey with a friend. There are groups on line that you can join or watch Marie Kondo's Netflix series, or even some of those series, like hoarders can be really super inspiring to go, oh my God, I really need to sort my stuff out.
Another thing that you can do to always tap into your motivation is journal about why is it important for you to change right now? What is it about your life that you want to be different? You're listening to this podcast because you deeply desire, fulfilment and purpose from the work that you do. And you deserve that and knowing that there is a relationship between how you're showing up at home, the energy that you're surrounding yourself with for the majority of your day. That all matters. So tapping into going okay, this change in my life around feeling super purposeful and really alive from my work. Let that be a motivator to go. I'm going to try this idea that Mandie is so convinced works. 'cause I've seen it time and time again in my life. That you're just going to give it a go.
4. Pay attention to the changes that occur when you do start to clear space in your home and life, because there is a link and that will also help motivate you once you see that link.
I have really clear links, right? I go ‘I cleared all that, and then had the craziest amazing fulfilling year with flood recovery and the job in the Ceremonies’. And then I did a massive clear out and fell back in love with my gorgeous Hana and ended up travelling to Bali and UK and being so fully supported during that time in COVID.
I remember even when I was doing my business the first time around. I would have crazy things like having a slow income week and then doing a stint of decluttering and then making thousands of dollars the week after.
So, try this out and see what changes as a result. And even if the change for you is energetic and emotional, that is what will shift things in your external reality. So. Give it a go. Let me know how you go. And. If you know of a friend who you think needs to hear this, then please send that over to them.
And let me know how you go. If you found this useful, send me a message. I love to hear from you all when you're listening to the podcast and what you're loving about it. And what you're getting from it and what you want to hear more of, because I absolutely love doing this.
I love being here with you every week sharing tips and stories from my own life about deeply connecting to what it is that your soul is calling you to do. Because I fully believe that when we are aligned with our hearts and our souls and doing what we're called to do, then we're going to see a completely different world.
Have a beautiful day
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